Here's Your Damn Card

Laugh. Cry. Maybe pee a little. Our cards have that effect. Cards so cheeky, they come with a raised eyebrow guarantee. 

SG000032
$ 5.50 USD
Quantity

Please allow 1-2 business days for processing.

Introducing the best witty birthday card you’ve ever seen! Whoever invented the idea of “birthday cards” surely didn’t know just how damn popular you were! Thankfully this funny card caters to a wide range of audiences, making the job easy for you. Send this piece of magic to that sarcastic someone on their special day —a friend, family member, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, co-worker, fiance, significant other... Sure to produce a laugh, this high-quality card is printed on black recycled card stock with white lettering and topped with a matte coating. 

- Inside says, "You're welcome. Now leave me alone."
- A7 size (5" x 7")
- Printed in Montana, USA on matte paper stock
- Comes with a matching kraft envelope made from 30% Post-Consumer Waste recycled paper

FAQs

Before You Ask... Here's What's on Everyone's Mind!

What is your shipping policy?

 

We carefully ship all orders out within 1-2 business days via USPS after payment is received. If requested, we can send it with a pigeon...maybe.

Are the packages discreet?

 

Yes, all other packages are discreet. Only our return address is visible on the shipping labels.

How much is shipping? 

 

Shipping starts at $2 USD or free shipping on orders over $50.

Where are your cards made?

 

Just outside of Denver, Colorado! Our amazing team prints and packages every card by hand.

How big are your cards?

 

The majority of our cards are 5 inches by 7 inches, which leaves plenty of room to write your message and large enough to fit a standard sized photo. A few of our plain text cards are 4.25 inches x 5.5 inches.

Does it come with an envelope?

 

Yes, of course! All cards come with it's own envelope. Our envelopes are sturdy kraft light-brown envelopes and are self-self with an adhesive strip.

Do you offer personalization?

 

Sadly, no we do not offer personalization or handwritten messages inside.

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