Sleazy Greetings funny birthday card featuring a retro-style illustration of two girls wearing party hats sitting beside a birthday cake with bold humorous dialogue. The vintage-inspired pink card design includes the phrase ‘It’s your birthday. Be hot and do whatever the fuck you want.’ Displayed as a premium folded Sleazy Greetings card with kraft envelope.
Sleazy Greetings funny birthday card featuring a retro-style illustration of two girls wearing party hats sitting beside a birthday cake with bold humorous dialogue. The vintage-inspired pink card design includes the phrase ‘It’s your birthday. Be hot and do whatever the fuck you want.’ Displayed as a premium folded Sleazy Greetings card with kraft envelope.
blank inside the Sleazy Greeting card
Sleazy Greetings funny birthday card featuring a retro-style illustration of two girls wearing party hats sitting beside a birthday cake with bold humorous dialogue. The vintage-inspired pink card design includes the phrase ‘It’s your birthday. Be hot and do whatever the fuck you want.’ Displayed as a premium folded Sleazy Greetings card with kraft envelope.
Sleazy Greetings funny birthday card featuring a retro-style illustration of two girls wearing party hats sitting beside a birthday cake with bold humorous dialogue. The vintage-inspired pink card design includes the phrase ‘It’s your birthday. Be hot and do whatever the fuck you want.’ Displayed as a premium folded Sleazy Greetings card with kraft envelope.
SG001759

Do Whatever The Fuck You Want - Vintage Funny Birthday Card

8k+ cards bought in the past month

$ 6.00 USD

Guaranteed to get a laugh 😂

Printed

in the USA

$1.95 Stamp Mail

Envelope

included

Human-designed

artwork
Quantity

Description

Permission granted to be absolutely unhinged. Want to be hot? Go for it. Want to be a chaotic mess? Also valid. This vintage-style card gives zero judgment and all the freedom, wrapped in retro charm and unapologetic humor. Perfect for the friend who doesn't need your approval but appreciates the sentiment anyway. Because on your special day, the only rule is doing whatever makes you feel alive. No notes, no apologies, no limits.

Celebrate birthdays with our vintage Whatever The Fuck You Want hilarious Birthday greeting card — perfect for your significant other, friends, or family when you want to give a funny birthday card that actually gets a laugh. Printed in Colorado, USA on eco-friendly, high-quality cardstock with a smooth matte finish, this premium birthday card includes a recycled kraft envelope and is ideal for anyone who loves sarcastic, novelty, and funny birthday cards. 
 
PRODUCT DETAILS:
  • Size: 5 x 7 inches
  • Inside: Blank
  • Paper: Thick, durable matte cardstock
  • Print Location: Printed in Colorado, USA
  • Envelope: Includes 1 kraft brown envelope (30% Post-Consumer Waste recycled paper)
  • Packaging: Sealed in a reusable clear plastic sleeve
  • Barcode: UPC barcode printed on back
Retail-ready and easy to merchandise, this card is a great fit for gift shops, boutiques, and bookstores.

Product Features

Shipping & Processing

We’re fast, but also a small business. Orders ship within 1-2 business days, and you’ll get your package in about 2–5 business days after that if you choose tracking with shipping.

We offer budget shipping with stamp letter mail for $1.95 via the USPS First Class Mail that takes 7-14 days for delivery.

 

All cards are shipped straight from our card shop in Centennial, Colorado. Oh, and if you spend over $30, you’ll get free shipping! 🎉

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What customers are saying

see bottom of page for a full list of product reviews

boring cards are for boring people.

We mix high-quality materials with even higher-quality jokes — printed in the USA, eco-friendly, and guaranteed to make someone’s day a little more inappropriate.

Featured in 800+ stores including:

BOLD GIFTS FOR BOLD PEOPLE

Sleazy Greetings started in a college dorm with one guy who just wanted cards that actually sounded like real people. Today, we’re here to help you say the hilarious, heartfelt, and sometimes wildly inappropriate things that make your people feel seen.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Before You Ask... Here's What's on Everyone's Mind!

What is your shipping policy?

 

We carefully ship all orders out within 1-2 business days via USPS after payment is received. If requested, we can send it with a pigeon...maybe.

Are the packages discreet?

 

Yes, all other packages are discreet. Only our return address is visible on the shipping labels.

How much is shipping? 

 

Shipping starts at $2.95 USD or free shipping on orders over $35.

Where are your cards made?

 

Just outside of Denver, Colorado! Our amazing team prints and packages every card by hand.

How big are your cards?

 

The majority of our cards are 5 inches by 7 inches, which leaves plenty of room to write your message and large enough to fit a standard sized photo. A few of our plain text cards are 4.25 inches x 5.5 inches.

Does it come with an envelope?

 

Yes, of course! All cards come with it's own envelope. Our envelopes are sturdy kraft light-brown envelopes and are self-self with an adhesive strip.

Do you offer personalization?

 

Sadly, no we do not offer personalization or handwritten messages inside.