SG001655

Only Ass You're Getting This Valentines | Funny Valentine's Day Card

8k+ cards bought in the past month

$ 6.00 USD

Guaranteed to get a laugh 😂

Printed

in the USA

$1.95 Stamp Mail

Envelope

included

Human-designed

artwork

Quantity

Description

Looking for a laugh this Valentine's Day? This cheeky card delivers the perfect punchline for anyone with a sense of humor. Skip the sappy sentiments—this card cuts straight to the funny with a witty jab that'll get a guaranteed chuckle. Whether you're poking fun at a friend, roasting a partner, or just spreading some irreverent Valentine's Day vibes, this card proves that the best relationships are built on brutal honesty and belly laughs. Because sometimes the realest love language is a good-natured insult wrapped in comedy gold.

Celebrate Valentine's Day, and anniversaries with a touch of humor and naughtiness with Sleazy Greetings cards. This punny card is the perfect way to show your love and appreciation for your husband or significant other, whether it's for a special occasion or just because. From the witty text on the front to the high-quality card stock and matte finish, this card is sure to impress. It's also blank inside, so you can write your own personal message. Each card is printed in Colorado, USA, on a paper matte stock and comes with a matching kraft envelope made from 30% Post-Consumer Waste recycled paper. Give the gift of laughter and love with Sleazy Greetings cards.


- Perfect gift for boyfriend, wife, or significant other
- Large 5 x 7 inch size with blank interior for personalized message
- Uncoated texture on the inside for easy writing without smudging
- Printed on thick, durable cardstock for a high-quality finish
- Receive 1 envelope made of sturdy kraft paper and with a self-sealing (peel and stick) adhesive strip.

 

Product Features

Shipping & Processing

We’re fast, but also a small business. Orders ship within 1-2 business days, and you’ll get your package in about 2–5 business days after that if you choose tracking with shipping.

We offer budget shipping with stamp letter mail for $1.95 via the USPS First Class Mail that takes 7-14 days for delivery.

 

All cards are shipped straight from our card shop in Centennial, Colorado. Oh, and if you spend over $30, you’ll get free shipping! 🎉

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What customers are saying

see bottom of page for a full list of product reviews

boring cards are for boring people.

We mix high-quality materials with even higher-quality jokes — printed in the USA, eco-friendly, and guaranteed to make someone’s day a little more inappropriate.

Featured in 800+ stores including:

BOLD GIFTS FOR BOLD PEOPLE

Sleazy Greetings started in a college dorm with one guy who just wanted cards that actually sounded like real people. Today, we’re here to help you say the hilarious, heartfelt, and sometimes wildly inappropriate things that make your people feel seen.

LOVED ON TIKTOK

Tag us @sleazy_greetings on TikTok and you could end up here too.

Frequently Asked Questions

Before You Ask... Here's What's on Everyone's Mind!

What is your shipping policy?

 

We carefully ship all orders out within 1-2 business days via USPS after payment is received. If requested, we can send it with a pigeon...maybe.

Are the packages discreet?

 

Yes, all other packages are discreet. Only our return address is visible on the shipping labels.

How much is shipping? 

 

Shipping starts at $2.95 USD or free shipping on orders over $35.

Where are your cards made?

 

Just outside of Denver, Colorado! Our amazing team prints and packages every card by hand.

How big are your cards?

 

The majority of our cards are 5 inches by 7 inches, which leaves plenty of room to write your message and large enough to fit a standard sized photo. A few of our plain text cards are 4.25 inches x 5.5 inches.

Does it come with an envelope?

 

Yes, of course! All cards come with it's own envelope. Our envelopes are sturdy kraft light-brown envelopes and are self-self with an adhesive strip.

Do you offer personalization?

 

Sadly, no we do not offer personalization or handwritten messages inside.