Funny inappropriate Mother’s Day card featuring sweet floral doodles and the phrase “If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again. Love, Not Your First Born.” Sarcastic family humor greeting card with wholesome pastel aesthetics, chaotic sibling energy, and savage mom-joke vibes printed on premium matte cardstock with a matching kraft envelope.
Funny inappropriate Mother’s Day card featuring sweet floral doodles and the phrase “If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again. Love, Not Your First Born.” Sarcastic family humor greeting card with wholesome pastel aesthetics, chaotic sibling energy, and savage mom-joke vibes printed on premium matte cardstock with a matching kraft envelope.
blank inside card
Funny inappropriate Mother’s Day card featuring sweet floral doodles and the phrase “If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again. Love, Not Your First Born.” Sarcastic family humor greeting card with wholesome pastel aesthetics, chaotic sibling energy, and savage mom-joke vibes printed on premium matte cardstock with a matching kraft envelope.
Funny inappropriate Mother’s Day card featuring sweet floral doodles and the phrase “If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again. Love, Not Your First Born.” Sarcastic family humor greeting card with wholesome pastel aesthetics, chaotic sibling energy, and savage mom-joke vibes printed on premium matte cardstock with a matching kraft envelope.
SG001237

Love, Not Your First Born | Funny Mother's Day Card

8k+ cards bought in the past month

$ 6.00 USD

Guaranteed to get a laugh 😂

Printed

in the USA

$1.95 Stamp Mail

Envelope

included

Human-designed

artwork
Quantity

Description

Let your mom know that despite all her hard work with the first kid, you're still grateful for being the last child. Perfect for Mother's Day or any day. From you: the successful, child.

Celebrate Mother’s Day, birthdays, or special moments with our fun badass mom greeting card — perfect for moms from sons or daughters when you want to show love with humor, sass, and a unique twist instead of a boring card. Printed in Colorado, USA on eco-friendly, high-quality matte cardstock, this A7 card is blank inside for a personal message and comes with a recycled kraft envelope, making it an ideal funny Mother’s Day card, unique mom birthday card, and novelty appreciation card. 
 
PRODUCT DETAILS:
  • Size: 5 x 7 inches
  • Inside: Blank
  • Paper: Thick, durable matte cardstock
  • Print Location: Printed in Colorado, USA
  • Envelope: Includes 1 kraft brown envelope (30% Post-Consumer Waste recycled paper)
  • Packaging: Sealed in a reusable clear plastic sleeve
  • Barcode: UPC barcode printed on back
Retail-ready and easy to merchandise, this card is a great fit for gift shops, boutiques, and bookstores.

Product Features

Shipping & Processing

We’re fast, but also a small business. Orders ship within 1-2 business days, and you’ll get your package in about 2–5 business days after that if you choose tracking with shipping.

We offer budget shipping with stamp letter mail for $1.95 via the USPS First Class Mail that takes 7-14 days for delivery.

 

All cards are shipped straight from our card shop in Centennial, Colorado. Oh, and if you spend over $30, you’ll get free shipping! 🎉

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What customers are saying

see bottom of page for a full list of product reviews

boring cards are for boring people.

We mix high-quality materials with even higher-quality jokes — printed in the USA, eco-friendly, and guaranteed to make someone’s day a little more inappropriate.

Featured in 800+ stores including:

BOLD GIFTS FOR BOLD PEOPLE

Sleazy Greetings started in a college dorm with one guy who just wanted cards that actually sounded like real people. Today, we’re here to help you say the hilarious, heartfelt, and sometimes wildly inappropriate things that make your people feel seen.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Before You Ask... Here's What's on Everyone's Mind!

What is your shipping policy?

 

We carefully ship all orders out within 1-2 business days via USPS after payment is received. If requested, we can send it with a pigeon...maybe.

Are the packages discreet?

 

Yes, all other packages are discreet. Only our return address is visible on the shipping labels.

How much is shipping? 

 

Shipping starts at $2.95 USD or free shipping on orders over $35.

Where are your cards made?

 

Just outside of Denver, Colorado! Our amazing team prints and packages every card by hand.

How big are your cards?

 

The majority of our cards are 5 inches by 7 inches, which leaves plenty of room to write your message and large enough to fit a standard sized photo. A few of our plain text cards are 4.25 inches x 5.5 inches.

Does it come with an envelope?

 

Yes, of course! All cards come with it's own envelope. Our envelopes are sturdy kraft light-brown envelopes and are self-self with an adhesive strip.

Do you offer personalization?

 

Sadly, no we do not offer personalization or handwritten messages inside.