Even Sluts Deserve A Happy Birthday - 70's Vintage

Laugh. Cry. Maybe pee a little. Our cards have that effect. Cards so cheeky, they come with a raised eyebrow guarantee. 

SG001165
$ 6.00 USD
Quantity
634 LEFT. Don’t say we didn’t warn you when they’re gone.
OUT OF STOCK
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634 LEFT. Don’t say we didn’t warn you when they’re gone.

This card takes that innocent, wholesome 1970s vintage children’s book aesthetic and absolutely flips the script with a wildly inappropriate yet undeniably funny message. Whether you're giving it to your best friend, a sibling, or someone who thrives on humor that’s a little extra, it’s the perfect mix of nostalgic charm and modern-day savagery. Because let’s be real—even sluts deserve a happy birthday, right? 🎂🎉

Printed on high-quality cardstock with a premium matte finish, this hilarious birthday card is designed to make your bestie or sibling laugh out loud. Measuring 5 inches by 7 inches, it features a blank interior, giving you plenty of space to write the perfect message—whether it's heartfelt, savage, or somewhere in between. Proudly made in Colorado, USA, this card comes with a kraft envelope and an easy-to-use adhesive strip for a hassle-free seal.


- Perfect gift for family, partner or friend
- Large 5 x 7 inch size with blank space for personalized message
- Uncoated texture on the inside for easy writing without smudging
- Printed on thick, durable cardstock for a high-quality finish
- Comes with a sturdy kraft envelope that is moisture sealed (lick-to-seal)

 

FAQs

Before You Ask... Here's What's on Everyone's Mind!

What is your shipping policy?

 

We carefully ship all orders out within 1-2 business days via USPS after payment is received. If requested, we can send it with a pigeon...maybe.

Are the packages discreet?

 

Yes, all other packages are discreet. Only our return address is visible on the shipping labels.

How much is shipping? 

 

Shipping starts at $2 USD or free shipping on orders over $50.

Where are your cards made?

 

Just outside of Denver, Colorado! Our amazing team prints and packages every card by hand.

How big are your cards?

 

The majority of our cards are 5 inches by 7 inches, which leaves plenty of room to write your message and large enough to fit a standard sized photo. A few of our plain text cards are 4.25 inches x 5.5 inches.

Does it come with an envelope?

 

Yes, of course! All cards come with it's own envelope. Our envelopes are sturdy kraft light-brown envelopes and are self-self with an adhesive strip.

Do you offer personalization?

 

Sadly, no we do not offer personalization or handwritten messages inside.

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